Good or Bad?
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives – Joseph in Genesis 50:20.
I’ve been meditating on this verse the past few days. The thought came up in class that we often don’t know the difference between good and bad for our lives. God is able to take the things we think are bad and transform them into good. Joseph’s life is a great example of that. His brothers sold him into slavery out of jealousy. But God saved many, many lives because of it. Even while in Egypt, Joseph did what was right – and ended up in prison…again, seemingly bad, but in the long run used by God for good.
The cross of Christ is another example. A heinous instrument of torture used to put to death an innocent man…so that through him salvation would come. From a human perspective, how could God treat the sinless Son of God this way? But, from the perspective of love and good, it was God’s plan and the only way we could experience love, forgiveness, and eternal life. God is all about transforming hopeless and horrible situations into beautiful and blessed situations.
My family proves this point too. For example, years ago I was laid off from my job because of the first Gulf War. That was bad. But, I was able to get an internship at our church that included free housing which was good. Plus we got to see God provide for our needs in unexpected ways which increased our faith. That was good too. Another example is Angie’s health. She suffers from chronic pain with fibromyalgia. That’s bad. But it has helped her to develop a deeper prayer life and a more consistent dependency on God. That’s good.
In the middle of challenges and hardships, my first thought is rarely, “Hey, this is an opportunity to grow and be stretched and to see God at work.” I have a tendency to grumble and complain and pray, “God, why me?” But could it be that the old adage, “No pain, no gain,” is true? Could it be that it is in the difficult seasons of life we grow the most? British journalist Malcolm Muggeridge once wrote, “Contrary to what might be expected, I look back on experiences that at the time seemed especially desolating and painful with particular satisfaction. Indeed, I can say with complete truthfulness that everything I have learned in my 75 years in this world, everything that has truly enhanced and enlightened my existence has been through afflictions and not through happiness.”
Truthfully, when I think back over my life, I see that this is so in my life too. It is through challenge and difficulty that I have grown the most. It is through the times where I had no idea how I would make it through that God showed up in the most profound and amazing ways. Perhaps, slowly, I am learning to look at life with from a different perspective. Maybe I’m beginning to reserve judgment of good or bad until more information is in. I hope so!
The Psalmist wrote, “Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind!” What a great promise! So encouraging to think that God stores up goodness for his children! Even though life can seem incredibly hard at times…strained relationships; broken dreams; illness; failure; discouragement; loss…God loves us and stores up good for us!
Lord, make me aware of your goodness today…despite my circumstances. Give me a thankful heart…a praise-filled heart! Fill me afresh with the wonder of how you trade beauty for ashes and turn mourning into dancing! Amen!
Manalive
Irenaeus once said, “The glory of God is man fully alive.” I believe he meant that when humans are fully alive, they are their most true selves and honor and glorify God to the fullest. This same theme was one of G.K. Chesterton’s favorites and the main idea of his novel called Manalive (which I’ve just read for my new class). It’s a short story centered on the escapades of Innocent Smith, a man who “refuses to die while he’s still alive.” He is a man full of joy and zest of life. He looks at the world with wonder and his presence causes many around him to awaken from their slumber.
Smith is “blown” into a group of people living in a London boarding house on a great wind. They are people who have become deadened to life by the routines and the disappointments of life. Their souls are dead. They have settled for the way things are. They, who had “long been consciously imprisoned in the commonplace”, had fallen asleep to the wonder and the beauty of the world around them.
Innocent Smith blows fresh life into their midst. One character says to another, “everybody has to take the world as he finds it; of course one often finds it a bit dull–” To that, his friend replies about Smith, “That fellow doesn’t…I have a fancy there’s some method in his madness. It looks as if he could turn it (life) into a sort of wonderland any minute by taking one step out of the plain road.”
Smith’s method is that he refuses to “settle”. He refuses to let things become “commonplace”. He is constantly striving to keep life fresh and to see things anew. “I am always trying to forget what I know – and to find what I don’t know.” By forgetting what he knows, he can look at it for the “first” time and find it again. He leaves his home and travels around the world so he can find it. He says, “I have become a pilgrim to cure myself of being an exile.” He woos his wife over and over again to “keep alive the sense of her perpetual value, and the perils that should be run for her sake.”
Smith is called the “Man Who Would Not Die”. He is committed to truly living and to helping others awaken to the world around them. Though some would call him a madman, others call him a saint. “I don’t deny…that there should be priests to remind men that they will one day die. I only say that at certain strange epochs it is necessary to have another kind of priests, called poets, actually to remind men that they are not dead yet.”
I was profoundly challenged by this book. I feel deeply challenged to consider the things in my life that deaden my soul and the things that bring life and awakening. I want to be Innocent Smith – full of wonder and joy; seeing things I’ve seen a thousand times as though they were brand new; savoring the life I’ve been given. I refuse to die while I am still alive!
I encourage you to read Manalive if you’ve never done so. It can be read for free at http://www.pagebypagebooks.com/Gilbert_K_Chesterton/Manalive/. Whether you read it or not, I invite you to ponder the questions my professor has invited us to consider: Ask yourself this week what it is that “deadens” your soul and what it is that “wakens” it to God. Take time to “come alive” to the wonder of the world God has created.
Spiritual Friendship
Several years ago I decided to train for the Dead Sea Marathon. I’d been running regularly for some time and decided it would be fun to push myself to do something I had never really thought was possible. I chose a training program to follow and got started. The program led me through five runs a week over the course of about four months. Each week the total number of miles I ran went up and on Fridays I would do a longer run.
The race was scheduled for April, so I began training in December. Though Amman is a more temperate climate, we do have winter. There were mornings I woke up and it was rainy and/or cold. More than once I thought maybe I’d rather just stay in bed. But I never did. I had a friend, Curt, who was waiting to run with me. I looked forward to spending time with him, but more than that, I’d made a commitment to train with him. We were in it together.
Curt and I finished the marathon. I don’t think either of us was thrilled with our times…but we did it! When I think back, I might have been able to do all the training alone, but it would have been a lot harder. Having a friend who understood what I was going through, didn’t mind when I complained, and who encouraged me when I needed it made a huge difference.
Unfortunately Curt doesn’t live in Amman any more. His friendship went beyond just being a running partner – he was a spiritual friend; a soul friend. He was someone who walked with me in the journey of faith as well. He accepted me as I was (the trials and the triumphs; faithful or faltering); he prayed with me and for me; he opened his life to me and shared his deepest self with me (and invited me to do the same with him); he was a true friend.
Thankfully, God has blessed me with several soul friends like Curt along the way. Their lives inspire me to seek for more in my relationship with Christ. Their friendships help me pay attention to God’s work in and around me. Their friendships makes it safe for me to grow into my “true self” in Christ – safe because sometimes it feels like I take two steps forward and three back and because as a pastor I don’t always have a place I can admit the questions and challenges I’m struggling with.
David Benner has written, “If you are making significant progress on the transformational journey of Christian spirituality, you have one of more friendships that support that journey. If you do not, you are not. It is that simple.” Over the past fifteen years, I have come to understand how true that statement is. As followers of Jesus Christ, we are on a journey not to a place; our destination is personal transformation into the image of Jesus. We are being made like him. Life-giving, intimate, mutual friendships help us recognize God’s will and leading in our lives. They help us pay attention to God all around us. They help us to press on in seeking more and more of Him.
What is the most challenging thing you are walking through these days? Do you have a spiritual friend walking alongside you in your journey? We need friends who will love and accept us as we are; who will pray for and with us; and who will encourage us, who hears our confessions, or who will just “be with us” in the midst of life in a way that helps us stay open to God. We not only need friends like that, we need to be those kinds of friends to others. The transformational journey of Christian spirituality is a marathon, not a sprint. May you become a soul friend to others and find those who will be that friend to you!
Life is like a sponge…
How do you know if a sponge is full or not? How do you know what it’s full of, if in fact, it is full? Normally you can’t tell by simply looking at it. It could be full of plain or soapy water; red or purple Kool Aid. We just don’t know. It might be even be empty. If we want to know what’s inside, we have to squeeze it.
When squeezed, the contents of the sponge become clear.
I believe our lives are like sponges. No one can know what’s truly inside us – what (or who) we’re filled with – by just looking at us. How we handle success and joyful times gives a glimpse into what’s inside, what’s in our hearts, but it isn’t always a very accurate picture of what we’re truly filled with.
If we truly want to see what a person is truly like on the inside – what we ourselves are truly like on the inside – we need to see what happens when we’re squeezed. Challenges, struggles, and trials in life squeeze us all the time. Our true character, what really fills us up, is revealed when we are “squeezed”. Hardship and difficulty reveal what is really inside us – the kind of people we really are and who/what we are really trusting in.
When I’m “squeezed” by inconvenience, rudeness, bad service, criticism (deserved or not), the loss of a loved one, unexpected bills, illness, death of a friend or loved one, betrayal or whatever other difficulty I might experience…how do I respond? Am I filled with fear, worry, panic, anxiety, anger, rage or something else? Do I yell, insult, blame, fight, withdraw, rationalize, avoid or something else? When I’m squeezed, does Jesus come out or Rick?
Now what’s in a sponge has to be squeezed out to make room for something new to be absorbed. So the question for us to ponder is: How do we empty ourselves of what is false and doesn’t belong so that the Holy Spirit can fill us with what is true and right?
Certainly the spiritual practices I’ve discussed previously and many others can help us to be filled up with the right and the good. I’d be curious to know what you’ve found helps you be emptied of what is false and doesn’t belong. Personally, I have found that spending time in solitude and silence before God to be the most significant thing I can do to place myself in an attitude and a place where the Holy Spirit can squeeze the false and what doesn’t belong out and begin to fill me with the true and good. Henri Nouwen writes,
In solitude I get rid of my scaffolding: no friends to talk with, no telephone calls to make, no meetings to attend, no music to entertain, no books to distract, just me – naked, vulnerable, weak, sinful, deprived, broken – nothing. It is this nothingness that I have to face in my solitude, a nothingness so dreadful that everything in me wants to run to my friends, my work, and my distractions so that I can forget my nothingness and make myself believe that I am worth something. But that is not all. As soon as I decide to stay in my solitude, confusing ideas, disturbing images, wild fantasies, and weird associations jump about in my mind like monkeys in a banana tree. Anger and greed begin to show their ugly faces…The task is to persevere in my solitude, to stay in my cell until all my seductive visitors get tired of pounding on my door and leave me alone. (The Way of the Heart, p. 27, 28)
My experience has been very much like his. Honestly, I don’t feel like I’m very good with solitude and silence. I have a very difficult time quieting my mind and just sitting in God’s presence. And it’s rather uncomfortable at times – I feel so exposed not to be in control of the time. All the things – “my scaffolding” – that help me maintain the mask of the “Rick I want people to think I am” is torn away and I sit before God as the “Rick I really am”. But in that place, healing occurs. Transformation takes place. I can’t explain it. But something happens. I rarely sense anything in the midst of the silence and solitude. Rather, as I go through the day and find myself being “squeezed”, something different comes out than what used to. There’s more Jesus than there was before. It isn’t anything I’ve done. It’s something the Holy Spirit has done…it’s something the Holy Spirit is doing!
I would love to tell you that the only thing that ever comes out when I’m “squeezed” these days is Jesus…but I’d be lying. There is still a lot of what is false and what doesn’t belong infecting my soul. But…by God’s grace…something good is happening…God is changing me – slowly, but surely – into the image of Jesus.
A “Rule of Life”
I began playing golf when I was nine years old. My dad was my first teacher, but as I developed he found a golf pro who gave me lessons. In high school, my instructor told me that I had a great swing. He predicted that I could be one of the top players in our conference. I played every day – eighteen or even thirty-six holes each day. But I never developed to the potential he predicted. It wasn’t because I lacked the desire – I wanted to be the best. But if you looked at my life and how I spent my time, you’d have to say I lacked the intention. In no way did I intentionally plan or strive to be the best golfer I could be. I just wanted to have fun, not put in the work required to get better.
In 2001, I decided I wanted to run a marathon. I’d been running for some time and believed I could do it. I began a training program that helped me build up my endurance and prepare for the race. I organized my priorities so that I ran faithfully all my training runs. Even when Angie and I went for a getaway weekend, I woke up early to do a twenty mile run that needed to be done for my training. I had both the desire and the intention to run the marathon. And I intentionally organized my days to make sure I would achieve my goal.
A few years ago I was frustrated with my spiritual progress. I wanted an intimate walk with Jesus, but something was missing. As I was crying out to God, asking him for deeper intimacy, I was convicted that while I said that’s what I wanted, but the way I lived didn’t reflect that as my priority. I may have had the desire to be intimate with Jesus, but I wasn’t living intentionally with the result that I wasn’t experiencing it either.
As I wrestled with God over this, the question that was before was: How should I live if I really, truly want to be transformed into Jesus and have a close, intimate relationship with him? If that’s really my priority and my desire, how do I live intentionally so it becomes more than wishful thinking? I knew there were spiritual exercises that I needed to commit to…Scripture reading, prayer…and others I was learning to practice regularly…silence and solitude, self-examination, personal retreats…
Through friends, teachers, and books I was reading, God led me to two things that have helped me to live intentionally and increased my desire for more of Jesus: 1) developing a “rule of life” and 2) a new perspective on how spiritual formation works.
Adele Ahlberg Calhoun defines a “rule of life” as “a way of being intentional about the personal rhythms and guidelines that shape our days” (Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, p. 36). It should be a personal and realistic pattern that will allow us to seek Jesus. In my “rule of life” I have things I do daily and at other intervals. These are things I know can help me to connect with God at a deeper level. Questions to ask as we begin to think about a “rule of life” include: What practices will I seek to engage in on a daily/weekly/monthly/yearly basis? When and where will I practice them? How will I engage in the community of faith as a part of my practices? Are there some things that are not natural to my personality that I need to practice anyway? Are there specific sins or areas I struggle with that would be helped by specific spiritual practices?
As we sense the rhythm God is calling us to, we prayerfully begin to live it. It is good to review how it’s going from time to time. We may find we were overly ambitious in some areas and need to make adjustments or that our patterns are creating stress for others. We need to be sensitive to that too. A “rule of life” is not meant to create legalism, but to be a tool to help us in seeking after Jesus. It is a guideline, not a straitjacket, intended to empower us to live in the freedom we have in Christ as we are being transformed into his image!
Along the way, God led me to a realization: Spiritual practices won’t transform me. My efforts won’t transform me. Only the power of God’s Holy Spirit working in my life will transform me. The purpose of spiritual practices like prayer, spiritual friendship, Scripture, solitude and silence, self-examination, and simplicity is to open our lives up to the work of God’s Holy Spirit. These practices create space for God to work in our lives. They are a way of receiving God’s grace. They allow us to place ourselves before God so he can transform us.
Robert Mulholland suggests in his book, Shaped by the Word, that we need to be ready to persevere in spiritual practices day after day, week after week, year after year, regardless of whether we see the spiritual fruit we expect or not. His point is that as we offer ourselves to God, it is God who changes us – when and how and into what he wants. Like Daniel in the movie The Karate Kid, painting and waxing and sanding because Mr. Miyagi said so even though it wasn’t what he expected…resulted in developing the muscles he needed to perform karate. As we faithfully do spiritual practices, God is developing in us spiritual “muscles” we won’t realize are there until we need them.
I hesitate to give a personal example because I have such a long way still to go…but I’ll close with one anyway. One of the practices I began some time ago as part of my ‘rule of life’ is “centering prayer”. It’s a time of simply quieting myself in God’s presence and waiting on him. Honestly, I don’t feel like I’m very good at it. I have a hard time quieting my mind. But when I am regularly practicing centering prayer, I respond differently to things throughout the day. I have more peace. It takes longer to become unsettled or angry. Even my wife has commented on this. I can’t always see it. But God is at work through these simple offerings of my time and my heart each day. Whether I can see him at work or not isn’t what’s important. It’s his time. My desire and intention is to open my heart to the Holy Spirit’s work. He can do with my offering whatever he wants!
I am with you
When my children were younger, sometimes they would have to do things they were afraid to do – a common one would be greeting an adult or introducing themselves to someone new. After assuring them that there was no way around what they’d been asked to do, the first question out of their mouths was almost always, “Will you go with me?” Somehow having a parent’s presence with them gave them security and confidence to do the task before them.
One of the most common commands in Scripture is “Do not be afraid.” More often than not, the command is accompanied by the promise, “I am with you.” Moses would not begin to lead the people until God had promised to be with him. Joshua was able to lead the people with courage because God was with him as he had been with Moses. God promised Solomon that as he had been with David, so he would be with him. The angel Gabriel told Joseph that Jesus would be called “Immanuel (which means, God with us)” (Matthew 1:23). Throughout the Old Testament and into the New, God’s most common promise is that he will be with his people.
Twice in Haggai we have seen God make this promise. In 1:13 after the people respond to God’s first message with obedience, God tells them “I am with you.” Again in 2:4, God tells the people in the midst of their discouragement (because the new temple was so inferior to the old) to “work, for I am with you.” It seems that (and we see this more in Haggai 2:10-19) that circumstances had not changed much for the people. They were obeying, but they weren’t seeing much blessing. It seems they doubted that God was really with them and really for them.
Why do we find it so hard to believe God is for us? Why are we conditioned to think that we have to earn God’s love? If I do the right things or believe the right things…then God will love me. But doesn’t Paul tell us that “while we were still sinners” (quite apart from any good moral deeds or any right faith or knowledge) Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). In fact that’s the message of John 3:16 too! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
God’s loving presence is not something we must earn; it’s something he’s already given. It’s not something elusive to be searched for and found; it’s something we must believe and rest in! It’s a reality every moment of every day whether we are aware of it or not. God promises that when we are in relationship with him, he does not leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).
It is surely possible for us to “break fellowship” with God. It is possible for us to walk away from his loving presence and to live apart from it. This is sin. But, He does not stop loving us. He does not stop desiring the best for us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39).
The people of Haggai’s day looked around and were discouraged because the new temple was pretty pathetic. Maybe we look at our lives and realize they aren’t what they could be; they aren’t what we want them to be; and they surely are not what God desires them to be. But God said to the people through Haggai, and I think he says to us, “Don’t worry about how things appear. I am with you. I am working in you. Press on. Keep going. Let’s walk together. I’m more interested in the journey than the destination. It’s faithfulness in the journey that will determine where we go…Follow me and let’s get there together.”
I remember as a child breaking a window. I don’t think it would have been such a frightening experience except that I’d broken a few other things shortly before so I was afraid of what my dad would say. I was sorely tempted to not even tell him. The window was sort of out of the way and it would have been a while before anyone even realized it was broken. I might have been able to get away with it. No one would have known it was me who broke it.
But, I knew that wasn’t the right thing to do. Even though I knew I’d be punished, I also knew it was better to tell the truth and have everything over and done with. My guilty conscience wasn’t going to let me get away with it even if walking away would. So with fear and trepidation I went to my father and told him what had happened. His response surprised me. It was unmitigated grace. He took me in his arms and he thanked me for coming to him and for being honest. He said he would take care of it. Miraculously, he didn’t punish me, but even if he had, I now realize even that would have been an act of love.
That event has helped to shape my view of God as Father. Sometimes God disciplines me just as my earthly father did at other times. But he always shows me love and grace. And no matter what, I know God is with me. He is for me. And I walk in the shadow of his deep, abiding love. There have been times in my life I found that truth hard to believe. But God has shown it to be true time and time again.
Take time this week to rest in the love of your heavenly Father. Hear him say to you the words of Isaiah 41:10: Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. He doesn’t ask us to be transformed so he will love us. He promises his love…that we might be transformed. No matter what the circumstances of our lives at this moment, God loves us. He is for us.
Measuring Up…Pressing On
Last night we continued our study of Haggai by focusing on the first nine verses of chapter two. The people of Haggai’s day had turned back to God and were obeying him by rebuilding the temple. But they were discouraged. The new temple was a far cry from the glorious first temple. In their discouragement, it seems, they were tempted to disobey God and stop the work.
God’s message through Haggai was a message of encouragement. Don’t quit! Press on! Persevere no matter how things may appear. The people looked at the new temple and saw how poorly it compared to the original. They were ready to give up. But they were making a false comparison. God wasn’t judging them based on the results of their work. He wasn’t looking for a bigger or better temple. He wanted their obedience. He wanted their hearts. If there was a comparison to make, it would have been between their lives when they were living for themselves over and against their lives doing God’s will. When they were living for themselves, we saw in chapter one, all their work and effort amounted to nothing. But when they obeyed, God promised to be with them (Haggai 1:13).
Not only were them making a false comparison, their idea of success was not God’s. Again, they thought God wanted a temple like the one before. The first one was covered with gold and silver. The people didn’t have gold and silver. But, again, their success was not to be measured by how fancy or big or beautiful the temple was. It was measured by how obedient their hearts were. They had considered their ways; they had seen where they fell short; they were living for God.
We do the same things, don’t we? When we recommit to following Jesus and begin a renewed walk with him, we can become easily discouraged. We may compare ourselves to how things were before – when we’d enjoyed intimacy with Jesus. We might compare ourselves to others we think “have it all together” spiritually. And we’re discouraged because we don’t measure up.
Or we think that “success” in following Jesus should look a certain way. We might think successful Christian living means we have good jobs and big houses; nice cars and perfectly happy families; that good Christians don’t get sick or have any struggles. If our lives don’t fit our expectations of what success looks like, we become discouraged.
But God’s definition of “success” is different than that. God is more concerned with what’s happening on the inside than external appearances. He wants faithfulness. Jesus said good trees bear good fruit; bad trees can’t (Matthew 7:15-23). Seeking after God with perseverance; seeking to be faithful in following after him…this allows us to open our hearts and lives to the Holy Spirit that we may become good trees…bearing good fruit.
I believe it was Charles Stanley who suggested that a spiritually growing person is a person who hungers to know God and His truth more and more; who is increasingly aware of sin and has a readiness to repent and a desire to become more Christ-like; who views life’s struggles, trials, temptations, and failures as opportunities to grow instead of as obstacles; who is ready to obey no matter the personal cost; who is growing in faith and trust in God; who wants to be used by God in the lives of others; who thirsts for personal times of devotion and prayer; who increasingly wants to do God’s will more than please self; and who is growing in love for God and an awareness of His presence.
I’m sure we could add lots of other things to this list. These are the kinds of things that should be growing in us as we follow Jesus. We won’t be growing in all of them at the same time. We may have three steps forward and two steps back many times. But if we are being faithful in seeking after Jesus, these are the kinds of areas where we will be growing.
Ultimately, we have to remember, we do not produce spiritual fruit – only God does. And spiritual fruit is not produced instantly. It takes a lifetime of the Spirit’s work in us to begin to become all that God intends. But we can open our hearts and lives to the Holy Spirit’s work through establishing spiritual rhythms that nurture our souls.
The Lord said to the people through Haggai, 4 Yet now be strong, O Zerubbabel…Be strong, O Joshua, son of Jehozadak…Be strong, all you people of the land…Work, for I am with you, declares the LORD of hosts, 5 according to the covenant that I made with you when you came out of Egypt. My Spirit remains in your midst. Fear not (Haggai 2:4-5).
To be strong when you feel discouraged is an act of trust. It requires us to have an attitude that truly believes God when he says, “I am with you!” It requires that we believe that his Spirit is in our midst. That attitude that trusts God and takes him at his Word comes out in our actions. For the people of Haggai’s day, God told them to work for he was with them. They needed to trust and obey. They need to be strong and keep pressing on in the calling God had given them.
God even makes a promise. He tells them that a time is coming in the future when there will be a temple even more fantastic than the first one. The heavens and earth will be shaken and the latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, says the Lord of hosts (Haggai 2:9).
Again, I think there is a lesson in this for us. As we seek after Jesus and long to be made into his image, we need to trust that even when we don’t see progress in our own lives, He’s at work. We need to press on and continue to open our lives to the Spirit’s work. We need to “work” too. We need to trust that if we do the spiritual practices God has asked us to do that he is with us and will bless those activities. We don’t produce the fruit, he does. We need to be strong in attitude and action and keep moving forward believing that our labor for the Lord is never in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).
Some Practical Thoughts on Self-Examination
Haggai called the people to consider their ways. I suggested this was an invitation to us today as well. But it isn’t something we do very regularly. Perhaps one of the reasons few people take time to examine themselves is that they are unsure how to go about it. Let me suggest three ways one could go about a time of self-examination. These are not original with me, but were passed on by my spiritual director and others. Ruth Haley Barton has some very good stuff on self-examination in her book Sacred Rhythms.
In each of these cases it’s important to find a quiet place (free from distractions) where you can focus your heart and your thoughts on God. Turn the electronic devices off. Be still and know that He is God! I encourage you to take a few moments in silence just sitting in God’s presence. When you are ready, begin!
1. Review the past day/week.
It’s as though we are in a film room and we invite the Holy Spirit to replay the significant things from our day/week. We ask him to draw our attention to places where we had a “deep sense of life-giving connection with God”; places where we felt most alive or most encouraged. Ignatius of Loyola called these experiences consolations.
At the same time, we also ask God to show us times during the day when we sensed a loss of God’s presence or out of touch with God. Life was drained from us. We felt off-center or full of confusion or rebellion or some other negative feeling. Ignatius called these experiences desolations.
By paying attention to the consolations and desolations we can see where God was moving and we responded to Him and where he was moving and we missed it. These times of examination can be times to rejoice and be thankful for God’s presence and also times of confession when we’ve failed to respond as we should to God’s activity in our lives.
I find taking time for a daily examination makes me more aware of God’s presence throughout the day and helps to keep me centered on him.
2. Review the past year.
A whole year spiritual inventory wherein one examines the past year utilizing one’s contemplative awareness that involves four specific thrusts:
A. Looking back Using the power of memory, one reviews the past year and deliberately exercises the discipline of noticing.
This is similar to the daily examination above only for the whole year. If one has practiced daily times of examination, this time will be easier – it might be simply reviewing journals rather than thinking back through the whole year. Our desire is to see when there were times of consolation and desolation throughout the year.
B. Looking through – Dependent upon the mind of Christ, one discerns the apparent connections and deeper meaning in one’s experiences (themes and patterns).
What do the themes and patterns that emerge tell us? Are they pointing us in a direction? Is there something to add or take away? Should we press on? Or do we need to repent and change directions?
C. Looking forward -Relying on sanctified imagination, one envisions future direction (what and where God’s calling/leading may be) for the upcoming months or year.
What is God calling us to in the days, months or year ahead? Where are we going?
D. Looking around – Drawing on the resources of community (the gift of “one anothering”), one determines needed support and structure to press on toward the next year.
Do I need someone to hold me accountable to the path God is calling? Do I need someone to walk the path with me? What, within the community of faith, will help me to move forward to where God is calling me?
3. Personal Reflection – taking a look inward, outward, and upward.
A. Solitude (inward presence)
How would I seek to be more present to myself and create a free space in my heart to understand more deeply who I am in God?
B. Service (outward presence)
How could I be more present to others and create a free space for them in order for me to better understand who they really are as my neighbor whom I am supposed to love and serve hospitably?
C. Prayer (upward presence)
How could I become more fully present to God and create a free space for him so I understand and experience more profoundly who God truly is in my life?
Most of the time our self-examination will point out small things we need to adjust or change. But on occasion, we will sense God inviting us to something bigger. At that point, a natural question is: “how do I know it’s really God and not just my own wishful thinking?” Bob Mumford in Take Another Look at Guidance, that there are three things God has provided that will line up when something is God’s will: the Word of God (objective standard); the Holy Spirit (subjective witness); and circumstances (divine providence and the wisdom of godly others).
I believe Ruth Haley Barton offers a broader list of questions to consider before moving forward:
1. Scripture: How does this choice relate to Scripture? Is there a particular Scripture that God is bringing to my mind as I ponder it? What is it saying to me?
2. Consolation and desolation: Which choice brings the deepest sense of life, inner peace, and freedom?
3. Life of Christ: Is the choice consistent with what I know of the mind and heart of Jesus?
4. Character growth and development: How will this direction nurture the fruit of the Spirit in me – especially the fruit of love? What does love call for? Will this choice nurture what God is doing to grow me spiritually or develop my character?
5. Eternal perspective: Does this choice reflect the value of what is eternal and permanent and holds the deepest value? On my deathbed, which choice would I wish I had made?
6. Community: How does this choice fit with others’ observations of who I am and what God is doing in my life?
7. Direction and calling: How does this choice fit with the overall direction and calling of God in my life? Does the choice allow me to continue living into my calling?
Self-examination can seem intimidating and scary. I hope these suggestions will help it become something much more livable. I believe it’s something that ultimately should become a way of life!
Consider Your Ways!
Last night we started a series of four messages in Haggai. Three times in chapter one Haggai says, “Consider your ways!” I don’t think self-examination is a very popular past time. We don’t like to look too closely into our heart because we know that we won’t measure up. Far too many people give up on their spiritual journeys because they can’t live up to the expectations they or the church puts on them.
But we need to take time to consider our ways. We will never be “good enough” on our own! We’ll never live up to the expectations we and the church put on ourselves! But somehow I don’t think that’s ultimately the point. Following Jesus isn’t about being good enough so he’ll love me…it’s about experiencing his deep and amazing love…then I’ll begin to be good enough…because he will begin changing me!
Experiencing God’s love starts with trusting and obeying him. If we don’t trust and obey, our intimacy with him is broken. Then, when we examine our lives, we will probably find some things that are unpleasant and don’t belong. We may find some things that need to be taken out and others that need to be added. It’s easy to rationalize and procrastinate and not actually change. Haggai challenged the people to consider their ways and they responded to his message with obedience. I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant for them, but they did the right thing. We should too!
Let me challenge you to take time this week to sit with God and invite him to look at your life. Consider your ways. Let God show you how you’re doing. And realize that our relationship with God is not about performance, it’s about love. He loved us so much that Jesus died for us. We could never “perform” enough, but we don’t have to. We need to trust him. We need to love him. We need to let him love us!
So how are you doing? Are you experiencing more and more of God’s boundless love? Give yourself to knowing and following him…show your love by your obedience…if you stumble, turn back and start again…the result will be that God’s promise through Haggai will be his promise to us as well: “I am with you.”
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