Counting the Cost

This past weekend I had the opportunity to take my youngest son and attend a men’s retreat in northern Georgia, just over the Tennessee border.  We stopped on our way down and visited the Chickamauga battlefield the nation’s oldest memorial of the Civil War. It contains incredible history.  We learned so much walking the field, seeing Union and Confederate positions, imagining the bloody conflict.  It is easy to measure a battle by the number of lives lost, but as we walked the battlefield we realized the cost of losing that war would have been so much more than the cost that went into winning it.  There was so much at stake – most importantly the freedom of hundreds of thousands of people.

The retreat itself was called “Follow Me”.  It was a call to stop being “fans” of Jesus and to become followers.  It was a call to go “all in” to follow Jesus with everything we are and have.  Each of the teaching times was excellent.  In the third session, we were challenged from Luke 9:57-62 to count the cost of following Jesus.  Our speaker said, “Following Jesus comes with a high cost I must be willing to pay.”  He said it will be difficult and that we must be willing to lose in this world as we pursue Jesus and put him first.  He challenged us to “consider the call…count the cost…and commit to follow.”

While I agree with most of what he said, as I reflected on this talk I couldn’t help but think that the cost of following Jesus is not seen in what I give up to follow him.  The real cost of following Jesus should be seen in what I lose if I don’t choose to follow him!  Not following Jesus offers the hope of all this world has to offer.  But, in the end, I gain this world and (Jesus says) I lose my soul.  The cost of not following Jesus is far, far more than what I give up to follow him.

Dallas Willard writes, “the only real bargain in life is surrendering…to Jesus…The cost of (not following Jesus) is…unbearable” (from Revolution of Character: Discovering Christ’s Pattern for Spiritual Transformation, p 60).  Just as the costs of the Civil War – as enormous as they were – were much, much smaller than the costs of not fighting or losing, so the costs of dying to self and following Jesus are nothing compared to the prices of not following!

Yes, we need to consider the call; count the cost; and then make a commitment – to follow or not.  But we need to hear the words of Jesus and let them sink in: ²³ And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. ²⁴ For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. ²⁵ For what does it profit a person if he/she gains the whole world and loses or forfeits him/herself?

We can save our lives in this world; we can gain everything this world has to offer; we can be the ultimate success story…but when all is said and done the cost of all these things is our very selves.  The cost of following Jesus is not really a cost at all.  What we give up is worthless compared to all we gain.  As Jim Elliot – a missionary who would die serving Jesus – once wrote, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he can never lose.”

Following Jesus is not easy.  Following Jesus entails loss.  But, following Jesus brings hope and joy and peace and life that is full.  It brings transformation and love and forgiveness and so, so much that we long for deep in our souls and which is always just out of our grasp when we pursue it in the things the world offers.

I am grateful for people like my great-great-great-grandfather who fought for the freedom of all men and women in the Civil War.  I’m grateful that the cost of not winning was deemed too steep and the hard course of fighting was chosen.  And I’m grateful for the opportunity I have to count the cost and to choose to follow Jesus knowing that there will be a cost but it’s a bargain compared to the alternative!

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A Prayer for 2012

In recent years, I have used a lectionary to guide my daily Bible readings.  The lectionary I use lays out readings in the psalms, Old and New Testaments, and Gospels each day.  It follows the rhythms of the church calendar to tailor readings to fit the church season.  During Advent (the beginning of the church calendar), for example, readings focused on the return of Jesus as well as his first coming.  I was regularly encouraged and challenged by the hopeful, expectant readings.

This morning, the last day of 2011, the readings were especially apropos for the end of a year and the beginning of a new one.  The Old Testament reading was 1 Kings 3:5-14; the New Testament reading was James 4:13-17 and 5:7-11; and the Gospel was John 5:1-15.  Three verses struck me as I read those passages:

At Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon in a dream by night, and God said, “Ask what I shall give you” (1 Kings 3:5).

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for that person it is sin (James 4:17).

Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast.  You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful” (James 5:11).

As I reflected on these verses, here is part of what I journaled.  It is my prayer for the New Year.

The last day of 2011! So much has happened this past year!  From finishing our ministry and saying good-bye to Jordan…to moving to Knoxville and beginning a new one.

If, as I look toward 2012, God asked me what I want him to do for me, I think what I would choose would be similar to Solomon.  Solomon asked for a discerning heart to know what is best.  But I would want more than that.  I would want a heart not only to discern what is best, but to choose what is best.  I would want the courage to say no to my selfish desires and yes to the very best things.  I would want the heart to avoid the path of least resistance or the easy way in favor of a heart to do the hard thing that invests in eternity.

In 2012, I want to be a person who knows what is right – who can enter a situation and discern what is going on and what the needs or answers are – and then does it.

In 2012, I want to be a man who remains steadfast – faithful – no matter what my circumstances.

In 2012, I want to draw ever closer to Jesus; deepening in my intimacy with Him; being transformed even more into His image.

Even as I write, in some ways such general desires, I realize such lofty goals come through daily choices.  Jesus was certainly right that faithfulness in little things leads to faithfulness in big ones.  To see these things happen in the coming year I desperately need 1) the power of the Holy Spirit; 2) daily rhythms that allow the Spirit space to change me; 3) grace, grace, and more grace!

May it come to pass!  Amen and Amen!

Church “Plant”?

When I was in high school I had a plant.  I kept it in my room and was really excited about it.  For a while I took care to water it and make sure it got enough sun, but not too much.  But, after a while I got busy.  I would forget to water it.  Then, to make up for it I’d water it too much.  Before long it wouldn’t flower; it wouldn’t bear fruit.  I wasn’t getting much out of it.  This really wasn’t a big surprise given the way I’d neglected it! My plant was dead!

Coming back to the US we’ve had the opportunity to visit a number of churches and friends we don’t get to see very often.  Often I have conversations with people who are frustrated with church.  Most of the time, they are disappointed because they “don’t get anything out of it.” Sometimes they’ve given up on one and tried another.  Sometimes they’ve stopped going at all.  Sometimes they just don’t know what to do.

I get that.  It is frustrating to invest most of a morning and go home feeling like the time was wasted.  But often when I probe a little deeper something more fundamental seems to emerge.  In almost every instance the people who don’t get much out of church are not spending time regularly in God’s presence.  They aren’t reading the Word of God and meditating.  They aren’t spending time in silence and solitude.
They aren’t spending time worshiping God each day.  They aren’t spending time in conversation with God through prayer.

And then on Sunday, from a relationship with God that is virtually non-existent, they go to church and are surprised they get nothing out of it.  But it just doesn’t work that way.  Like with my long-neglected plant, I shouldn’t be surprised when it doesn’t stay green or grow if I’m not caring for it.  It’s the old adage, you get what you pay for or what you get out of something depends on what you put in.

The real question isn’t, “What do I get out of church?”  Rather, it’s “What do I put into church?”  If we answer the second question with things like teaching Sunday school, ushering, tithing, leading youth group etc. then we don’t really understand the nature of church or worship.  We’ve missed the fundamental point.

Church and worship require a sacrifice on our part.  It is an investment.  It takes time.  It takes dying to self.  Without sacrifice, the most we can hope for in church or a worship service is to be entertained.  But when we take time to be with Jesus throughout the week then we can meet with him whether we like the sermon or not; whether the music is good or not; whether the service is “good” or not.  In my experience, there have been
times I did not know a song or like the style and I wasn’t sure the preacher had really understood the text, but I was still able to worship.

When we spend time with Jesus, our perspective changes.  We take our eyes off ourselves and look to him.  Worship isn’t about songs but the glory of the One worshiped.  Our hearts are softened and we see ourselves as we truly are.  Rather than sit in judgment of others’ offerings, we rejoice in what is offered and unite our hearts with theirs in worship.

Matt Redman sings “You brought a blessing, and the blessing was You.”  When we spend time with Jesus, coming to church and worship no longer is about what I get out of it; we discover the blessing is Jesus.  It’s being in his presence and declaring his praise.

If you’re someone who is struggling with not getting much out of church, take time to think about how your personal walk with Jesus is going.  Where can you take steps to draw closer to him and enjoy his presence?  The seeds planted in your heart through the week will blossom when you gather with the Lord’s people to worship!

Fighting the Tendency to Drift

Disclaimer: Our family has been in the midst of transition for the past several months. Really our transitions began even before we left Jordan. As a result, I have not posted for some time. I hope to get back into that rhythm.

This summer our family spent some time at the beach.  We enjoyed swimming in the Atlantic Ocean, dodging the jelly fish.  One of the things that always surprises me – though after all these years it probably shouldn’t – is how the tide can cause me to drift.  I mean, I start out directly in front of our chairs and towels and before I know it I’ve drifted quite a ways away from that spot.  I didn’t even realize it had happened.  If I don’t intentionally stop and look to see where I am and adjust my position, I can get pretty far from where I want to be.

I find the same is true in my spiritual life.

A friend of mine, knowing I had Dr. D.A. Carson as a professor in seminary, wrote and shared with me a quote he had read in a devotional by Dr. Carson:

People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated (D. A. Carson, For the Love of God, Volume 2: A Daily Companion for Discovering the Riches of God’s Word).

When I think of holiness, I think of a transformed life. I think of a life that is changed more into the image of Jesus. I cannot transform myself. I cannot make myself more like Jesus. But that is not an excuse to do nothing. Paul called on us to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:13). But that work does not transform us. Paul said in the very next verse that “it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” He is the one who works change in us. He is the one who transforms us.

But we do have a part to play. It is “grace-driven effort”. We have to intentionally put ourselves in a place where we open our lives to the work of the Holy Spirit. That’s our job. And by God’s grace as we do practices that open our lives up to God, He works in us. He changes us.

I am convicted by Dr. Carson’s statement because he’s right. I know that my heart tends to drift – but not “toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord” – rather in the opposite direction! And I am all too often guilty of the kind of rationalizing he states as well. Perhaps not in all the ways he states, but more of them than I care to admit.

So how do I counter this tendency to drift? How do I keep myself from slipping away from the places that will help me become what I want to be? I start with healthy self-examination. Henri Nouwen stated, “A life that is not reflected upon isn’t worth living” (Can You Drink This Cup?). I would add that a life not reflected upon tends to drift.

When I examine my life, I see the things I’m doing well and I see the places I need to change. I discover my “blindspots” and my strengths. Undoubtedly, I need to repent. I need to ask God’s forgiveness for allowing myself to drift; for not living intentionally the way I should. I need to ask forgiveness and for grace to get moving in God’s direction again.

Reflection/examination and repentance must be followed by action. The reality is that the kinds of activities that will put me in a place where my life is open to God’s work are not, usually, “fun” activities. They are not, generally, the kinds of things I do naturally – at least not initially. And yet, once they are established as a habit, my soul often craves them and I when I start to drift, I can tell something is not right.

At that point, if I don’t take time to reflect on why things aren’t right, I drift more and become less sensitized to what’s wrong. Regular reflection/examination helps to keep me on the right path. If I will take the time to examine my life and reflect on how things are going, God is so gracious to show me what’s out of whack and help me get moving in the right direction.

Ultimately none of this happens if I’m not willing to intentionally open my life to God. None of it happens unless I create space in my life for God to work. If I really long to be like Jesus, to be made holy, then I have to order my life so that can happen. Times of reflection, of solitude, of meditation, of prayer, and of any number of other practices move me in the direction of holiness. When I take steps to do live that way, I find God is gracious and faithful and he works in me in ways I do not even realize, but ways his word promises “according to his good pleasure”.  They are ways that allow me to be transformed more into the image of Jesus.

A Lesson from “Les Misérables”

One of my favorite books is Les Misérables by Victor Hugo. If you’ve read it, you may remember the first part of the book introduces us first to Bishop Bienvenu Myriel. While he is a fictional character, when I grow up I want to be just like him. He serves as bishop but does not have the typical attitudes of a bishop.

When he first becomes bishop, Bishop Myriel has a magnificent home while the hospital next door was too crowded with patients. Recognizing the hospital’s need and the extravagance of his home, he says, “There is some mistake, I tell you; you have my house, and I have yours.” His salary of fifteen thousand francs was given almost completely to the the poor. When he discovers that he has an allowance for a carriage and pastoral visits, he takes that money and gives it away as well. All that flowed in went to those who had need. He saved for himself only what was needed for his “bare necessities.”

I love Bishop Myriel’s attitude toward those most in need. “The most beautiful of altars,” he said, “is the soul of an unhappy creature consoled and thanking God.” And later we learn that “he respected learned men greatly; he respected the ignorant still more; and, without ever failing in these two respects.”

He never locked his door. He said, “There is a bravery of the priest as well as the bravery of a colonel of dragoons,– only,” he added, “ours must be tranquil.” When faced with the need to take a ministry trip to a remote and dangerous area under his care he said, “Let us never fear robbers nor murderers. Those are dangers from without, petty dangers. Let us fear ourselves. Prejudices are the real robbers; vices are the real murderers. The great dangers lie within ourselves. What matters it what threatens our head or our purse! Let us think only of that which threatens our soul.”

Eventually we are introduced to Jean Valjean. He is a criminal who stole a loaf of bread to feed his sister and her seven children. After serving his sentence – lengthened for attempting to escape on several occasions – he is finally released. He wanders into Bishop Myriel’s village and after being refused lodging at the towns inns, he comes to the Bishop’s home for shelter and food.

Bishop Myriel does not turn him away but welcomes him as a brother. Valjean is stunned at the Bishop’s kindness. The Bishop tells him,

“You could not help telling me who you were. This is not my house; it is the house of Jesus Christ. This door doe not demand of him who enters whether he has a name, but whether he has a grief. You suffer, you are hungry and thirsty; you are welcome. And do not thank me; do not say that I receive you in my house. No one is at home here, except the man who needs refuge. I say to you, who are passing by, that you are much more at home here than I myself. Everything here is yours. What need have I to know your name? Besides, before you told me you had one which I knew?”

“Really? You knew what I was called?”

“Yes,” replied the Bishop, “you are called my brother.”

Here is a character who loves with the heart of Jesus. He gives generously and loves liberally. He trusts God to care for him completely and welcomes even a hardened criminal into his home.

The Bishop has only one possession of value – genuine silver knives and cutlery as well as two silver candlesticks. During the night while all are asleep, Valjean sneaks into the Bishop’s room and steals the knives and cutlery. He then runs out into the night.

In the morning, Valjean is arrested and brought to the Bishop’s home. As soon as the door is opened, Bishop Myriel cries, “Ah! here you are! I am glad to see you. Well, but how is this? I gave you the candlesticks too, which are of silver like the rest, and for which you can certainly get two hundred francs. Why did you not carry them away with your forks and spoons?”

Only Valjean is more stunned than the gendarmes. Valjean is released and the Bishop does give him the candlesticks. Before Valjean leaves, the Bishop says to him, “Jean Valjean, my brother, you no longer belong to evil, but to good. It is your soul that I buy from you; I withdraw it from black thoughts and the spirit of perdition, and I give it to God.”

This is the spirit of Jesus. To give all we have to those who need that they might discover the incredible love of God and in turn love and serve others. Reading these words, I think of Scripture like Micah 6:8 and Matthew 25:31-46 and Isaiah 58 and so many others and I long to be one who loves like Jesus. I long to walk so intimately with my Savior that I understand how to truly “do justice and love mercy and walk humbly with God.” I want to be like Bishop Bienvenu Myriel…loving and respecting my fellow men and women in my actions, not just my words.

Revive 2011:AIC Youth Retreat

This past weekend (in Jordan, that’s Thursday-Friday-Saturday) I was one of the adult chaperones for the Amman International Church High School and Junior High Youth Retreat.  Our theme was “Revive” and our speaker was Greg Speck.  Matt, led worship with Janelle, Josh, Lauren, Michelle, and Andrew and it was incredible.  Jeff planned a great retreat and I was blessed…

Here are my top five highlights from the weekend:

1) Greg’s talks

I’ve known Greg for about twenty years and have always appreciated his humor and his insight into what it means to be a teen and a follower of Jesus.  He has an amazing way of making God’s truth come alive and connect with young adults.  He spoke four times.  The first was on having “no fear” in the midst of spiritual warfare because He who is in us greater than he who is in the world. 

The second focused on self image.  Greg shared that 1) what you look like on the outside is not the most important thing; 2) God desires that we be beautiful on the inside; 3) God was actively involved in creating us; 4) the fact that Jesus died for us is evidence of our great value.

In his third talk, Greg focused on our highest calling in life: to love God with everything we are and to love others.  He said 1) our love needs to be tough (loving the unlovable and loving even when it isn’t easy…love can break the hardest hearts so faith can grow); 2) our love needs to be vulnerable (we need to reach out and be initiators in loving others); 3) love is a commitment (it’s something we do whether we feel like it or not…it’s a choice); and 4) love now (don’t just give flowers to dead people, give flowers to people who are alive).

The fourth and final talk focused on depression.  Greg shared that feelings come and go, but Jesus is always there.  We all face depression at different times in life and it isn’t sin (though its cause could be sin).  He shared four practical things God did for Elijah when he was depressed in 1 Kings 19 that we can do too: 1) Get enough sleep and eat right (vv 5-7); 2) Talk to someone (vv 9-10 – God there listens to Elijah without judging); 3) Seek a fresh awareness of God’s personal presence with us (vv 11-13); 4) Begin to minister/serve again (vv 15 and 18 – we’ve been called for a purpose so go fulfill it!).  He also reminded us that depression can be a time of growth for us.  All sunshine and no rain make a desert.

Good stuff and really practical. 

2) Great times of worship

Each session began with a time of worship and it was great to be ushered into God’s presence with song.  I ran the PowerPoint so others could worship and it was great to be able to sit back, enjoy the enthusiasm and passion.  It was also cool to watch my son play bass…

3) The red team

We were divided into five teams – red, green, blue, brown (more of a tan really), and pink.  It was largely by age and I since I was leading a small group of 7^th and 8^th grade boys, I was on the red team.  They were amazing and I loved the times of hearing their hearts, praying with them and making up our “red hot” cheer.  You all were great!

4) The youth

We had 90 youth at the retreat – 45 boys, 45 girls.  They came from many countries and many backgrounds.  One of my favorite things was just walking around and seeing them in groups talking, playing, hanging out, singing.  Rarely was anyone alone and then it seemed it was by choice.  There was a great spirit among the youth and it was fun to be a part of.  They are fantastic kids.  It was fun to talk to several during meal times too.

5) The leaders

I am incredibly grateful to the adults who came to help with the small groups and hang with the youth.  Alex, Heather, Janelle, Michelle, Matt, Lauren, Jeong, Soo Young, Greg, Ruth, and of course Jeff.  You all were great to work with and I really enjoyed hanging out with you all.  Thanks for sacrificing your weekend and sharing your hearts with our youth and with me.  You are a blessing!

Thanks to everyone who had a part in the retreat!  I, personally, left revived!

Love and Suffering – Two Sides of the Same Coin

This week in my reading for class I came across a concept I’ve probably heard before, but it struck me afresh.  C. Michael Thompson writes, “Love and suffering are inseparable companions, though in our addiction to need-love we so wish to believe it untrue.  You simply cannot be radically open to gift love without being radically vulnerable to suffering.  They are two aspects of the same experience, two sides of the same coin…”[1]

So much of what we define as love is based on an unspoken “law of reciprocity”.  I’ll scratch your back; you scratch mine.  But true love offers itself not expecting or needing anything in return.  It is giving of oneself for the other person or the greater good or whatever it might be without thought of “what’s in it for me.”  Any time we lay down our own agendas and our own desires for the sake of someone else, there is pain.  Thompson writes, “To sacrifice one’s own personal ego-needs in the service of larger purposes is inevitably to suffer.”[2]

So much of what passes for love today is “need-love”.  It’s so easy to say “I love you” to someone and then when life gets hard or they aren’t quite we expected or we’re bored or the feelings have worn off we move on.  Relationships often take far more work than we’re willing to invest.  Even if we don’t end the relationship, we may decide it’s not worth the effort and withdraw or hide a part of ourselves so as not to be hurt any more.  I question if this is truly love at all. 

True love is willing to suffer for the sake of the other person.  Jesus is our model in this.  He went to incredible lengths to show his incredible love for us.  Mocked, beaten, falsely accused, and ultimately crucified for us…for me.  And I am called to love with that same self-sacrificial love.  I am called – at times – to suffer as I love.  Love requires sacrifice.  It takes its eyes off self and puts them on another.  It offers itself even if rejected; even if exploited.

The Apostle Paul wrote in the great “love” chapter, 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).  The characteristics of true love are sacrificial.  it isn’t easy to live this way.  It means we have to stop expecting to be served and be willing to serve someone else.  It means we must be willing to forgive and let go; to assume the best and give the benefit of the doubt; it means we need to be willing to humbly look to others’ best interests, not merely our own.

The degree to which I am willing to suffer for another is the extent to which I love that person.  This is not something we can do in our own strength.  Thompson writes, “When we are able to disengage from our own selfish little gaggle of needs, when we can truly spend and be spent in the service of others, the little space we thus empty out in the center of our psyche becomes a space that can now be filled by the spirit of God.”[3]  We need the power of God to work in us.  Such love is only possible as we learn to live and love like Jesus through deep, intimate connection to him.

Imagine how the world would be different if we were able to love like this!  It is the example Jesus set and the kind of love he calls us to.  As U2 singer Bono said, “If only we could be a bit more like Him, the world would be transformed.”[4]

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[1] Thompson, C. Michael in The Congruent Life, Jossey-Bass, San Francisco, 2000, p. 200.

Thompson, discusses how C.S. Lewis distinguished between “need-love” and “gift-love”.  He says, “Need-love is “that which sends a lonely or frightened child to its mother’s arms,” and recurs countless times in our lives as we seek to get our very human constellation of needs met through the people and things we unabashedly use for that purpose.  We’re probably no less susceptible to loneliness and fear than we were as small children; we just find grown-up substitutes for our mother’s arms” (p. 198).

Gift-love is “when we deeply care about others, their life, happiness, and future; when we wish for them the same personal growth and material success that we would want for ourselves and contribute to that in any way we can; when we deeply respect their humanness, treasure their uniqueness, and believe in their potential – we are in fact expressing one of the purest forms of love that we can hope to achieve” (p. 198).

[2] ibid p. 202.

[3] ibid.

[4] “Bono Interview: Grace Over Karma” at http://www.thepoachedegg.net/the-poached-egg/2010/09/bono-interview-grace-over-karma.html.

Discerning Leadership?

Over the past two days, I’ve shared some thoughts and responses to Henri Nouwen’s book, In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership.  In the first section of his book, Nouwen calls us to be leaders who are deeply connected to Jesus and lead out of that relationship, not according to corporate models or the desire for relevance.  In the second section of the book, Nouwen calls for Christian leaders to lead from a place of vulnerability so they enter in and become part of the community.  Our willingness to confess our sin, seek forgiveness and be honest about our doubts and struggles deepens our ministry to others even as it invites them to minister to us.

In the third and final section of the book, Nouwen says,

“One of the greatest ironies of the history of Christianity is that its leaders constantly gave in to the temptation of power – political power, military power, economic power, or moral and spiritual power – even though they continued to speak in the name of Jesus, who did not cling to his divine power but emptied himself and became as we are” (p. 76). 

 

Somehow it has been believed by many leaders that power is a good thing and can be used for God’s glory.  It reminds me of the rings of power in The Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Many thought they could use the ring for good, but its power corrupted them and wound up destroying the ring-bearer and those he led.  It’s the same way in our age.  Such power in the hands of Christians caused such things as the crusades, inquisition, slavery and so much more.

Nouwen says,

What makes the temptation for power so seemingly irresistible?  Maybe it is that power offers an easy substitute for the hard task of love.  It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, easier to own life than to love life.  Jesus asks, “Do you love me?”  We ask, “Can we sit at your right hand and your left hand in your Kingdom?” (Matthew 20:21) (p.77).

 

Not only is the path of power easier, it feels better.  It feeds our egos.  It builds our reputations.  Humility and trust, submission and compassion take work because they are the path of the cross, the path of self-denial, the path of love.  Instead of leading from power, we need to surrender ourselves that we might be led by Christ.  “Jesus has a different vision of maturity: It is the ability and willingness to be led where you would rather not go” (p. 83).  A Christian leader allows his or her agenda to be directed and controlled by the Holy Spirit.  The leader develops a discerning and sensitive spirit that responds to God’s promptings so that the leader is really a follower of the true Leader.  Says Nouwen, “Here we touch the most important quality of Christian leadership in the future…a leadership in which power is constantly abandoned in favor of love” (p. 82). 

Nouwen suggests that leaders grow in this by “the discipline of strenuous theological reflection” which “will allow us to discern critically where we are being led” (p. 85).  He believes the church has lost its ability to think theologically, preferring to think sociologically or psychologically instead.  He wants leaders to have “the mind of Christ” Paul talks about.  The goal of such theological reflection is to make God’s presence more real.  It is to enable us to discern and understand where God is and what he’s doing in a specific situation. 

Writes Nouwen:

To be such a leader, it is essential to be able to discern from moment to moment how God acts in human history and how the personal, communal, national, and international events that occur during our lives can make us more and more sensitive to the ways in which we are led to the cross and through the cross to the resurrection (pp. 86-87).

 

Theological reflection, believes Nouwen, has the ultimate goal of enabling us to see that “even the smallest event of human history…is an opportunity to be led deeper into the heart of Christ” (p. 88).  Each day, we have the opportunity to pause and ponder the activities of our personal lives and all that has gone on around us.  Where is God?  What is he doing?  How is he leading me deeper into his heart?  How should I respond to his loving invitation?

As we ground ourselves in such reflection, we become leaders who are being led.  We become leaders who can invite people into the a life-changing encounter with the God who loves them so much, he became one of them and died on the cross.

Vulnerable Leadership?

Yesterday I shared some thoughts and reactions to the first part of Henri Nouwen’s book In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership.  Nouwen suggests that Christian leaders must lead from their intimacy with Jesus rather than according to the corporate model accepted by many or the desire to be “relevant” to the masses. 

In the second part of the book, Nouwen goes on to share that Christian leaders need to move beyond the desire to be popular or to be accepted and to enter into the community – not only to minister to the community but also to receive ministry from the community.  Nouwen writes,

Somehow we have come to believe that good leadership requires a safe distance from those we are called to lead.  Medicine, psychiatry, and social work all offer us models in which “service” takes place in a one-way direction.  Someone serves, someone else is being served, and be sure not to mix up the roles!  But how can we lay down our life for those with whom we are not even allowed to enter into a deep personal relationship?  Laying down your life means making your own faith and doubt, hope and despair, joy and sadness, courage and fear available to others as ways of getting in touch with the Lord of life (p. 61, emphasis mine).

Nouwen invites those who would lead to become “a vulnerable servant who needs people as much as they need their leader” (p. 63).  He suggests that Christian leaders should “be persons always willing to confess our own brokenness and ask for forgiveness from those to whom they minister” (p. 64).  This is not always easy to do, but Christian leaders need to have the freedom to step down from the pedestal of perfection and be real people.  I think some people prefer to keep the leaders up in that rarified air of perfection – separate and on a pedestal – but most of us want to know that the men and women leading us have doubts, struggles, and temptations, as well as joys, victories, and growth in their Christian lives

The reality is that Christian leaders walk a very fine line when we share our “warts” in the church.  We can share too much or share too publicly some of our “dirty laundry”.  We need to monitor what we put out there.  At the same time, we can shade our confession in such a way that we actually become more saint-like than had we said nothing.  I tend to think the solution is to make ourselves accountable to a small group – fellow leaders, a close spiritual friend or two, a spouse – but also be prepared to share honestly our struggles and failings in appropriate venues and ways.  This is ultimately essential and life-giving for all involved.

As Christian leaders, we need “to be full members of [our] communities (p. 69).  When we model vulnerability and put ourselves “out there” it will encourage an atmosphere of trust and vulnerability.  Last October I spoke at a conference for member care givers in the Middle East.  I shared very honestly about my own journey and specific areas that have been struggles and sin in my life as a leader serving overseas.  I shared many of the ways God has brought healing in my life and in my marriage.  I tried not to overstate the bad and didn’t want to misrepresent the progress.  Later several people commented on how the conference was one of the safest and open environments they’d been a part of.  Deep, sensitive issues that needed to be discussed openly were able to be broached because I had set the tone with my honesty.  As I told them, even a year or two ago I could not have shared those things.  But I am growing to understand more and more what Nouwen is saying and see the value and life in walking in a transparent, mutual way with the people I lead.

Relevant Leadership?

This week I began a new class on Christian Leadership. Our first reading assignment was In the Name of Jesus by the late Henri Nouwen. Nouwen, a Catholic priest, spent years teaching at Notre Dame, Yale, and Harvard. He writes, “Everyone was saying that I was doing really well, but something inside was telling me that my success was putting my own soul in danger” (p. 20). He went from Harvard to the Daybreak Center in Toronto – a home for mentally handicapped men. The book is his reflections on the direction he believes Christian leadership should take in the future.

Nouwen suggests leaders need to stop seeking to be relevant and commit themselves to seeking God through contemplative prayer. He says, “The question is not: How many people take you seriously? How much are you going to accomplish? Can you show some results? But: Are you in love with Jesus?” He goes on to say, “The central question is, Are the leaders of the future truly men and women of God, people with an ardent desire to dwell in God’s presence, to listen to God’s voice, to look at God’s beauty, to touch God incarnate word, and to taste fully God’s infinite goodness” (p. 43).

In a world where many churches seem to operate by more of a corporate model, I was challenged and refreshed by Nouwen’s challenge to seek God first and foremost. His challenge takes the onus off us to figure out what people want and catering to their perceptions and desires, and calls us to a deep, intimate relationship with Jesus that we might be led by the Holy Spirit.

I agree with him that “very few people know that they are loved without any conditions or limits” (p. 38). As a result, “Christian leaders cannot simply be persons who have well-informed opinions about the burning issues of our time. Their leadership must be rooted in the permanent, intimate relationship with the incarnate Word, Jesus, and they need to find there the source for their words, advice and guidance” p. 45). Such a person will be “flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative” (pp. 45-47).

Such leaders – who lead from intimate relationship with Jesus rather than giftedness or ability – are leaders who may swim against the current of what is popular or deemed relevant, but they are surely the kind of leaders who touch people in deep places and make a difference that cannot be quantified or programmed.

In times of silence, solitude, and contemplative prayer, we find our true selves and experience the freedom that comes from knowing we are loved deeply and unconditionally. As leaders, as Christian leaders, how much more important is that intimacy that as we lead and as we serve we are not playing to the masses but to the “Audience of One”.